


I Can't Hold You

by savethespacewhales



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Ben Solo eats cereal, Canon Typical Violence, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Hair Braiding, Hair Washing, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, Mild Gore, Minor Character Death, Naboo - Freeform, Rey has Scissorhands, blood mention, edward scissorhands AU, fairy tale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22153123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savethespacewhales/pseuds/savethespacewhales
Summary: A gender-swapped retelling of Edward Scissorhands set in the Star Wars universe.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 91
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! Welcome to Edward Scissorhands but make it Reylo. I hope you enjoy my Star Wars fairy tale.
> 
> Thank you to [slipgoingunder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slipgoingunder/pseuds/slipgoingunder) for encouraging me and reminding that I don't need to apologize for my writing.
> 
> Thank you to [theselittlethings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings/pseuds/theselittlethings) for being the kind of beta that supports you and makes your writing much better than you ever hoped it could be.
> 
> This is my first multi-chapter fic. I anticipate that it will be 8 chapters long. Thanks for being on this journey with me.

Han Solo treaded wearily in the sand. The merciless Jakku sun beat down on him. How he ended up here in this junkyard, and in need of a part for the  _ Falcon _ only Unkar Plutt could find, was symbolic of everything wrong in his life. 

Except Plutt didn’t have the part. Hadn’t been too keen on doing business with Han either. Probably something to do with Ducain, but hell if Han knew what it was. This was supposed to be a quick dump and jump job, he and Chewie should have been home already. Leia... wasn’t happy. And Ben... Well, Han thought, best to not even go there.

Han headed away from Niima Outpost after a conversation with Plutt, in which a fair number of insults and blaster shots were exchanged. Another local had told him in stuttering Basic that a guy named Ray living in an abandoned AT-AT outside Niima would have the part needed. Han paid a credit for the creature’s trouble and set out. The sooner he was off Jakku — the better.

Far off against the horizon, Han could see the bones of an old Imperial Star Destroyer and what might be the AT-AT. Han hoped this exchange wouldn’t take too long so he could return to the ship, get going with Chewie’s help and be gone. And good riddance. He was ready to shake the Jakku dust off his feet forever.

As he finally approached the AT-AT, the sun had lowered slightly in the sky but not in intensity. Han hadn’t dressed for desert travel, was sweaty and gritty where the sand stuck to his overheated skin. Stupid sand, got everywhere. He took a moment to wipe grit from his eyes with the inside of his sleeve before he called out “ _ hello _ ?” near the AT-AT.

It was collapsed on its side and Han didn’t see any signs of life, but this wasn’t surprising. Anyone who chose to live outside the collected civilization of Niima probably didn’t want company. 

Han walked around to find the entrance and knocked. His fist made a thunking sound on the metal and he tried a couple more times. Maybe he had the wrong AT-AT? He maneuvered the entrance open, yelling as he walked inside, “Hello? Anyone here? I heard you might have a part I need for my ship.”

He saw signs that someone lived there: rations, a collection of dried flowers in a vase, and a ragged doll worn with age and holes where its stuffing leaked out. And thousands of tally marks etched into the walls. Han took a moment to marvel at row upon row of indentations. 

When he heard a shuffle behind him, he quickly turned, hand hovering over the blaster at his side.

A young woman had crept behind him, coming from he didn’t know where. Her posture was defensive, legs braced to run or attack. Her arms were behind her back, and wiry but strong. She wore a fearsome expression that somehow was inquisitive at the same time. Han observed her wild and unkempt brown hair, and there were small cuts and scars along every bit of her he could see. 

“Hey Kid,” he said softly with the reassuring tone he used to soothe Ben when he woke up from a nightmare as a kid. “I heard up by Plutt’s you might have a part I need for my ship. I need a way to bypass the compressor.”

She still looked wary, but relaxed slightly. Her arms came out from behind her back. 

It was then Han saw that she didn’t have hands. Where fingers and palms should have been were an assortment of jagged knives and scissor blades. 

Han felt something ripple through him that was more than surprise, moving his hands away from his blaster and continuing to speak in a soothing voice. “Hey... kid. Name is Han. Need a way to bypass the compressor on my ship so I can get off this dustball. Heard word you can help me out. Can you?”

The girl continued to look at him with her large hazel eyes. Han got the feeling she was assessing him. Who was this girl? What happened to her? How did she survive in this wasteland all alone?

She paused a moment longer before jerking her head to the exit. Han took the hint and left the AT-AT first, turning his back on her as a sign of trust. There was something about this kid…

Once they were both outside the girl instructed him to “wait here” and walked away to another area of the AT-AT. Maybe where she stored her parts? 

A few moments later she returned with a brown leather satchel over her shoulder, the bag showing a promising bulge. 

“Lead the way,” she said again, gesturing with her head. Her mechanized hands moved like wiggling fingers, but stayed at her sides. Could she manipulate them like he could his hands and fingers?

Han had been from one end of the galaxy to the other, and he had seen a lot of strange stuff — but he felt something towards this girl. Almost protective. There was something of his own scrumrat survival beginnings in this kid. 

Their walk back to the  _ Falcon  _ was quiet. Chewie was still messing with an engine component when they arrived. Chewie and the girl acknowledged each other with a glance before she went to work, first telling Han and Chewie to get out.

Han felt disappointment. He was curious to see the girl work. How did those appendages move? How were they used? Chewie was more respectful of her wish for privacy and invited him to lose at dejarik, an offer Han took him up on.

________________________________

In her work area, Rey shrugged her bag off her shoulder, using a duller blade as to not sever the strap. Rey knew she was capable — a survivor — but that didn’t mean that she needed an audience, especially given her “hands.”

Rey pushed down any thoughts about that. She took a deep breath and emptied her mind. She thought about the repair that needed to be done, about the ship itself (she recognized it immediately — _ The Millennium Falcon  _ and Han Solo were both famous and infamous), and the part she had in her bag. Rey could sense the way the repair would work, seeing the parts fit together in her mind. She closed her eyes and let the  _ rightness _ of the picture direct her to fix the engine. She didn’t know how it worked or why. But if she thought about it and was intent, the parts and her hands worked together seamlessly, doing repairs that should have been impossible smoothly and easily. Sometimes at night when she couldn’t sleep, she wondered why she could do it, but often she was too busy eeking out a living to contemplate these mysteries. Using the power to keep her belly full was more important than how or  _ why _ . 

She knew this ability often frightened people, and so she guarded it carefully and kept it to herself. Had her parents known? She wanted to believe they had, that it was a talisman that allowed them to leave her here and know she would be okay. 

Rey opened her eyes as the repair was completed. The vision of a ship taking off as she yelled “Come back! Come back!” faded behind her eyelids. They’d be back, someday. 

She headed out to the yet-to-introduce-himself-Han Solo and his Wookiee companion.

_____________________________

She found them playing dejarik. 

“It’s done,” she said without preamble. 

Han stood up. “Already? That’s great, kid. Say, what’s your name anyway?”

“Rey.” A pause. “Just Rey,” she replied. “You’re Han Solo. This is the  _ Millenium Falcon _ , the ship that made the Kessel Run in under fourteen parsecs.”

“Twelve,” Han interrupted, giving her a look she didn’t quite understand. It wasn’t pity — it was deep, full of meaning. Understanding.

The Wookiee growled in Shryiiwook and Han talked over him saying, “It  _ is _ if you round down, pal.”

Rey sensed this was an ancient but friendly argument. 

“Your reputation precedes you,” she said, smirking slightly.

“That so?” Han murmured, looking like he was pleased but trying not to show it. “You work fast kid, I’ve fixed this old ship up more times than I can count and that was a speedy job.”

The praise washed warmly over Rey. Her lips stretched into a smile. She lowered her head, embarrassed that she could be affected by such meager praise. 

Han’s heart squeezed. Without giving it much thought, he opened his mouth: 

“Been looking for another crew member,” he said. He knew instinctively that Rey would not respond well to pity or charity. But he also knew that she deserved more than whatever was keeping her on Jakku. “I couldn’t pay you well, but it’s clear you know what you’re doing and I can always use someone who knows their way around a ship.”

Rey’s eyes widened with surprise and she grinned. “You’re offering me a job?”

Han couldn’t help smiling back. “I wouldn’t be real nice to you. But Chewie here —” He nodded his head at the Wookiee. “— has taken a liking to you. We transport goods. I gotta family on Chandrila. You could stay with us til you get settled in a new place.”

Rey’s smile faltered a bit. “You’re offering me a job,” she repeated, the questioning tone gone from her voice. 

“What you do think, kid? We’lll be taking off here soon, but if you need time to gather things, we can wait for you.”

Rey’s smile was gone now. “I’ve got to stay on Jakku,” she said quietly, her voice soft with regret. “My family. They’ll be back for me. One day.”

Han knew that whoever she was waiting for was never coming back, but he didn’t know how to say those words. Or if she even needed or wanted to hear them. 

“All right, kid. Let’s get your payment and we’ll be on our way.”

_______________________________

Rey made the long journey back to her AT-AT alone. She had credits for some portions and always welcomed extras for days she was unable to work due to sandstorms or slow business. When she made her way home, she etched another mark on her wall. 

She tilted her head up and took in the marks, each one a scar on her heart. A day they didn’t come back. A day alone. A day warring to stay alive, every minute a battle she had to fight. And every footfall that approached her home that wasn’t them — a crushed hope. 

Han’s offer woke something inside her. Now she had a chance — a hope, and she didn’t know what to do with it. She needed help. But she was all alone. Alone and waiting for people that were never going to return. Tears overflowed and Rey quickly wiped them on her sleeves. 

She had  _ had _ a chance... and she let it go. Almost reflexively. Because she was good at waiting. 

But what if she didn’t want to wait anymore?

______________________________________

Chewie just grunted when Han suggested waiting til sunrise to raise the ramp, knowing full well what was really going on. Rey came running up the ramp at first light, asking sheepishly if the job offer was still available. Chewie stooped down and enveloped her in a big hug as Han smiled at the shocked look on Rey’s face.

“Welcome aboard kid,” Han said. “Let’s give you the grand tour.”

It became immediately apparent that Rey was unaccustomed to company. She spent most of her time in her quarters and Han let her be. He sent a holo to Leia filling her in on the new crew member and Rey’s unusual hands. It wasn’t unusual for Han to find someone in need of a bootstrap to pull themselves up by when he was out and about in the galaxy. It  _ was _ unusual for them to be as uniquely-appendaged as Rey. And he rarely brought anyone home. But Leia’s fierce exterior was a facade for a heart full of love. Han felt like Leia might appreciate having someone to lay some affection on, especially since Ben had been so sharp as of late. 

As they approached Chandrila, Han knocked on the door to Rey’s quarters to let her know. Han didn’t have any trepidation about Rey. He had a good feeling about this.

Rey, on the other hand, felt ill. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears and couldn’t take a full breath. She felt inexplicably homesick for Jakku, and living in close quarters with Han and Chewie on the Falcon had proven to be so... much. There was always someone there. It was both suffocating and soothing. She couldn’t allow herself to think ahead for even a moment, because the  _ present _ was too new — too overwhelming.

When Han notified her it was time to land, she took several deep breaths to calm herself before going to the cockpit. The sight that greeted her made her stop in her tracks, tears welling in her eyes. 

“I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy,” she whispered, her face awestruck. 

Han’s expression was wistfully tinged with sadness. This kid deserved more than she had been given, and he was going to do his best to help her get it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the previous chapter, Han met Rey Scissorhands on Jakku and Rey eventually agreed to leave and join him. 
> 
> In this chapter, we see how Rey adapts to life on Chandrila. Oh, and we meet Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [theselittlethings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings) for the beta read.
> 
> And thank you to everyone who has read, left kudos, and commented so far. You've all inspired me and I appreciate you taking time to read my words.

Once the ship touched down, Chewie offered to finish landing protocols so Han could take Rey to meet Leia. Rey was jumpy, hypersensitive to the sounds, and obviously overstimulated by the hustle and bustle. She startled at every noise and breathed heavily. Thankfully it was a short trip via taxi. Han noticed that Rey’s knife fingers drummed and flexed as they rested on her knees. She didn’t even seem aware of the motions. 

When they reached the apartment, Han led the way, opened the door and let Rey follow him. Rey’s eyes widened again as she took in the furnished rooms. 

“Hello, Rey. My name is Leia.” A small woman with dark brown eyes and elaborately braided hair stood as Rey entered. “We are so glad you are here with us.” 

Leia held out her hand to Rey before realizing the awkwardness of the gesture and pulled her hand back. “Would you like a tour? Some refreshment?”

Rey felt very small. Despite the spacious rooms, she felt as though there wasn’t enough air to fill her lungs. 

Han went over and hugged Leia. He dwarfed her, wrapping his arms around her to rub his hand up and down her back. “We’re tired, Princess. Show Rey her room, let her have a moment to catch her breath.”

Leia closed her eyes, relishing the embrace. After a moment’s silence, in which Rey watched the intimate moment between husband and wife and felt like a voyeur. 

“Let me show you to your room, Rey,” Leia said, beckoning Rey forward.

Rey followed Leia to a room with an attached refresher, simply but elegantly decorated. Leia asked if she needed anything before leaving. Rey took time to inspect the room -- so many soft things. She would need to be cautious. The ‘fresher was a wonderful luxury. There were mirrors on opposing walls. Rey had only seen her reflection a couple times, and never in a situation where she could observe herself at leisure.

Her hair was startling -- wild and unkempt. Much different than anyone else’s she had seen. The nicks and light scars on her face were something she was accustomed to -- she had similar marks over most of her person. She avoided examining her reflection in the mirror. She did not like to think about her entire body, how odd she looked with bladed hands fused to her human frame. 

Rey left the refresher to look out the windows. There were curtains covering the view and even though she tried to move them aside gently, she accidentally ripped a jagged hole with her hand. She gasped, horrified. She had never been around such nice things before -- delicate and breakable. On Jakku, the most fragile thing in her home had been her. She tried to be careful, but she ruined things almost as soon as she arrived.

Would Han and Leia make her leave? How could she even get back to Jakku? Her breath came in gasps and Rey began to panic. 

Just then there was a knock on her door. “Rey? May I come in?” 

Leia slowly opened the door after Rey didn’t answer. 

Rey’s mouth opened and closed, and tears shone in her eyes. She was at a loss for words, moving her lips soundlessly. She raised her arm and gestured with her bladed hands at the window. Leia quickly took it in. 

“Oh well,” Leia said matter of factly. “I never liked those drapes. And I don’t really know what I was thinking, putting them in your room! That wasn’t very practical!”

“I wanted to look out the window,” Rey said quietly. “Never really had a view before. I’m sorry about the curtains.” 

Leia stood next to Rey. She pulled open the curtains to reveal a view of downtown Hanna City below. Shops and streets, people out and about. Leia lightly placed her hand on Rey’s back. She felt the muscles tighten reflexively and knew instinctively that this girl was unused to human touch. To human kindness. To the softness in life. Leia saw, as she observed Rey watching the window, what drew Han to her and why he brought her back. You could not be in Rey’s presence without feeling that here was one who existed on so little for so long. One who deserved more. 

A swell of protectiveness surged in Leia’s chest and she felt her throat tighten. She patted Rey’s back and invited her down for dinner.

______

Ben was absent. Han wasn’t sure when was the last time he had been home. He hadn’t asked and Leia hadn’t offered information. Han was curious, but not enough to risk making Leia cry. 

Rey followed Leia into the dining room, hovering by a chair until she observed Han and Leia sit. Leia deliberately chose a simple meal, knowing that portion bread was often only fare available on desolate planets like Jakku. 

After watching Han and Leia begin to eat, Rey bent forward and put her face in the plate, taking a bite like an animal would. Her eyes brightened at the first taste and she enthusiastically chewed and went in for more. She left her hands in her lap and continued to eat in this way, not noticing that Han and Leia stopped cold and were exchanging a glance. 

When Rey’s plate was mostly clear -- she was as thorough as she was delighted with so much food -- she noticed that Han and Leia used utensils to eat. And that they were eating much more slowly than she had. She felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment and lowered her eyes. Her fingers clicked lightly as she fidgeted them in her lap. 

She didn’t know if Han or Leia would chastise her for eating that way. She hadn’t known there was another way to eat. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate in front of another living being -- a time when she hadn’t just ingested nutrients as quickly as possible to refuel her body for the work of survival. 

A sit down meal in the company of others, to be tasted and enjoyed leisurely (especially when she had not done any work) felt like the height of indulgence. It also felt completely foreign. 

“Leia?” she asked timidly.

Warm brown eyes looked into hers. Leia’s face held no trace of judgment, rather understanding and kindness. 

Hesitantly, Rey brought her hands up from her lap and rested them on the table. The metallic thud sounded loudly in the quiet room. Knowing that she was revealing a deeply secretive part of herself, Rey flexed and moved the bladed mechanical hands. Then raised them so that they faced out, showing what would have been palms if she had flesh. 

“I need a teacher. Will you help me?” Rey bit her lip, and it was apparent to Han and Leia how much the request cost her. 

To her credit, Leia assented just as seriously. She carefully moved her chair, plate, glass, and utensils closer to Rey. 

She placed her hand next to Rey’s. “Can you show me what you can do with your... hands?” she asked.

Tentatively, Rey demonstrated how she could manuever the metal pieces. Leia noted that they moved similarly to hands and fingers. Indeed, Rey had five blades at the end of each “hand.” Leia observed that while they didn’t bend as fingers could, Rey was able to manipulate them at the point where they connected to more solid joints that operated like hands. So while Rey could, in theory, play the valachord with her fingers, she was unable to clench a fist. The metal pieces bent at the first knuckle but remained hingeless as the digits continued.

Han watched interestedly. Rey was very private about her hands while fixing the Falcon and ate in her room onboard. He was curious, watching Leia explore the functionality of Rey’s hands -- and wondered  _ how  _ she had made the repair. Judging by what he saw at his table, it shouldn’t have been possible. 

After trial and error, Leia and Rey worked out that stabbing items on her plate and carefully bringing them to her mouth was the best way for Rey to conform to Chandrila's social norms for humans. And that Rey could do independently and safely. After watching Rey eat a few bites in this way, Leia praised her quick learning and adaptability.

Han watched all this silently. Thinking of the speed at which Rey ate initially, and the slower pace when she used her hands as utensils, he mused aloud, “We always have food to spare. It can take a while to get accustomed to enough.” 

He moved to clear the table to avoid seeing Rey’s face as his meaning sunk in.

_______________________________________

Slowly, haltingly, Rey acclimated to life with Han and Leia on Chandrila. She ate her meals with them and rested in her room at night. The soft mattress initially proved cumbersome, both for her hands and for her comfort. It was so plush and soft, it felt unnatural and her body couldn’t relax into sleep. She couldn’t toss and turn without her hands damaging the bed, and the noises of the city kept her alert.

Rey began her work for Han, though she remained careful and private about exactly how she completed the mechanical tasks and repairs he assigned. Rey was capable and competent. Han kept her busy in his garage and told her that she could come on the next job he and Chewie did. 

When Rey asked Han what kind of jobs he did, his answer was an awkward pause. Then a furtive look at Leia and a mumbled, “It’s complicated.”

As Rey settled in with Han and Leia, she soon realized there was a shadow of unhappiness that hovered over them. They never spoke of it to her, but sometimes she would enter a room and they would stop talking. Sometimes Leia would surreptitiously wipe her eyes after these conversations ended. Rey could sense a heaviness that the couple bore quietly. While she observed their sadness, she did not ask or pry -- the thought didn’t occur to her. She processed these scenes internally, watched the way people who were in a relationship  _ were. _

Having so little experience with people, she avidly watched Han,Leia, and Chewie as well. So she could learn to find her place in all this.

_____________________________________________________

Rey returned from her first trip with Han and Chewie, a successful transportation job, and was surprised by the warm feelings she had going back to the apartment -- to  _ home.  _

A smile stretched across her face in anticipation of familiar settings and people. This feeling was foreign, but heady. It was scary to let her guard down, to dare to hope for good things. After years and years of eking out an existence on Jakku, Rey learned that hope was a dangerous thing. Despite this, Han and Leia’s quiet kindness had dulled her defenses.

She had come ahead, Han sent her home while he and Chewie finished up. She was also pleased to be bringing home her first earnings since coming to Chandrila. Rey planned to pay for her room and board. She was self-reliant her entire life and had no intentions of changing. 

Rey let herself into the apartment. Han had mentioned that Leia would be in meetings all day.  When she walked into the apartment, she headed to the refresher in her room.

She halted immediately when she heard sounds coming from the dining room. Assuming a defensive posture, she crept silently towards the noise. She moved instinctively, years of defending her territory on Jakku returning to her in a second. 

A hulking man sat at the table, pouring blue milk into a bowl of cereal. His back was to her, but he paused as she hovered in the doorway like he sensed her.

He stood up and whirled around, knocking his chair over. Rey yelled and held a bladed finger to his throat. 

For a moment they assessed each other. He towered above Rey, but she knew size mattered not in a brawl. She watched him look her up and down before his eyes saw the knifetip at his throat. His eyes almost crossed as he focused on her bladed finger. 

They were both panting, not from exertion but from fear. Rey saw long dark hair and dark eyes before she focused on his throat. 

His adam’s apple bobbed up and down. 

“What are you doing here?” she demanded. “Who are you?”

The man slowly raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. A smirk played about on his lips.

“I’m Ben Solo. Who the fuck are you?” was all the answer she got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. You can find me on Twitter [@AmyWishman](http://www.twitter.com/AmyWishman)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the previous chapter, Rey worked to adapt to life on Chandrila and met Ben Solo.
> 
> In this chapter...things progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [theselittlethings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings) for the beta read. Thanks to her, you're spared reading the words "had" and "was" an additional 784 times. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has read and commented so far. I appreciate you taking time to read my words.

Ben thought he experienced every awkward and terrible situation possible in his home. Turned out he was wrong. He hadn’t been home in a few days (well... awhile), but somehow a feral girl with fucking knives for fingers waltzed in and proceeded to hold him at... finger-point in his own dining room, acting like  _ he  _ was the intruder. Despite the fact he towered over her, his heart sped up in his chest -- and he had a vision of Luke looming over him that he removed from his head. 

When she demanded to know his name, he told her, forcing a bravado he hadn’t truly felt. He watched as realization swept over her face. 

“Solo?” she whispered incredulously, her brow furrowed. 

“Yeah. Ben Solo,” he echoed. 

“You’re Han and Leia’s…?” she left off, still looking puzzled.

“Son,” he interjected. “Unfortunately.”

Her hand lowered slightly, though her expression didn’t change.

Ben left his hands up where he raised them to show that he wasn’t a threat. She hadn’t looked away. She knew his parents’ names. He hadn’t told them he was coming back home, hadn’t spoken to either of them for a while. He didn’t know what Luke told them about why he left. He had been too freaked out and too embarrassed to do anything other than run with his tail between his legs to Snoke. Had they replaced him while he was at Snoke’s? The thought hit harder than he imagined it could. 

“Ummmm, who are  _ you _ ?” he ventured. 

The girl dropped her hands and stepped away from him. She looked suddenly fearful. 

“I’m no one,” she whispered, before sprinting down the hall.

Ben heard a door slam after her footsteps retreated. 

“Fuck,” he muttered. He sat down and finished his cereal. 

__________________________

After eating, Ben retreated to his room. At least they hadn’t redecordated or given  _ that _ away. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing here. He remembered his last conversation with his dad, who implored him to come home. 

“We miss you,” he said. 

Ben shook his head. They’d missed him so much that they brought home a stranger to take his place. What had he expected, really? 

Ben felt stupid for even coming home. His emotions were shaken, and he could feel pieces of doubt, resentment and loneliness settle as he worked to calm himself. 

He was being torn apart. One part of him felt dark and afraid, his fears and desperation roaring to life. The more rational part of him tried to shine a light on these fears and look at things in a more detached way. Despite the years he spent with Luke, Ben had never been able to reconcile these two parts. Until one day Luke tried to confront it and eliminate the problem forever.

Thinking of Luke dimmed the light and brought the fear back to the surface, shaking him up again. 

Ben took a deep breath and reached out with the Force. He cleared his mind and worked to still the churning emotions. He felt his heartbeat slow, his muscles relax and release tension. He reached out... and sensed something. 

Someone. 

_ Her.  _

_______________________________________

  
  


Rey felt something strange brush up against her mind. Something she never felt before. It was like a presence. An intrusion, but not an unpleasant one -- just strange. It felt like when she focused and used her power for her mechanical work. But she was in her room, on her bed and thinking about the intruder -- She supposed she should start to think of him as Han and Leia’s son, if he was who he said he was, anyway. 

But then she felt  _ it, _ in a way she hadn’t ever before. The novelty heightened her curiosity and she sat up, closing her eyes. She focused on the sensation, just as she would a job or task. She sought out whatever it was that was there and yet  _ not _ there. 

When she brushed against it, she gasped.

It was  _ him.  _

Ben. 

____________________________________________

Their minds touched for just the briefest moment. Enough for the two of them to register each other’s presence before it was done. Rey never experienced anything like it -- she was  _ with  _ Ben Solo, but he wasn’t in her room with her. And it had felt the same as when she quieted her mind to do mechanical work. Somehow she could lose herself in the work and do things with her hands that she wasn’t able to otherwise. She didn’t know how it worked, and hadn’t really considered that other people might have the same ability. 

The idea that a part of her she protected and kept secret was known by another made her heart pound. Not only had this Ben Solo person invaded her new home. He saw a tiny particle of her deepest self. And she saw a glimpse of his, though she wasn’t sure what to make of it.

She felt how alone he was. Even with her right there. Rey’s life had been solitary. She could barely remember a time she hadn’t existed in almost constant isolation. She ached for her parents to return to her, to come back. She felt that longing like a pang in her chest. And when she saw Ben, had known him for that moment -- that same painful throb of  _ alone, alone, alone _ echoed through him as well.

This desolation was something they shared. But what did it all mean?

___________________________________________________________

  
  


Because Rey wasn’t sure what to make of what happened with Ben (or Ben himself), she relied on her usual method for dealing with unpleasantness: actively ignoring all negative feelings and focusing solely on what was essential to survive. 

Because she lived with other people, this was more challenging. 

She didn't see or hear Ben’s reunion with his parents, chose to stay in her room until Han knocked on her door and explained who Ben was. From what Han told her, she gathered that Ben hadn’t told his parents the details of their first interaction, just that they met. That was all she was able to discern. Han, usually gregarious, was quiet when it came to his son. 

Rey worried that Ben’s return would disrupt her newly-found life, but she rarely saw him. Maybe he was avoiding her as much as she was him. Whatever had happened... maybe it was a fluke, or she imagined it. The more time passed, the more unreal it seemed.

Rey continued her work with Han. She met a friend of his, Lando, who was well-known in the area. When Lando came over for dinner he kissed Leia’s hand in greeting, but when he met Rey he smiled warmly without touching her. 

Rey was grateful to avoid an awkward interaction -- but felt an emptiness inside her when she realized that, for her, touch was only significant in its absence. She hadn’t wanted Lando to kiss her knived fingers, but she longed for human contact. A touch.

As they sat down to eat, Ben walked in. Rey stiffened, self-conscious that she would be eating with two new sets of eyes. Rey glanced up from her seat but did not move or say anything. Ben shook hands with Lando (no kiss there either) and waited until Han set him a place before sitting to join them. 

Lando oozed charm and kept the conversation flowing through dinner. Rey recognized the smooth talk and banter for what it was, still grateful not to have to make conversation. At one point she looked up to find Ben’s eyes on her, but he instantly looked away.

Rey took advantage and surveyed him, taking peeks between bites. He was pleasant to look at -- tall and broad, long dark hair that looked soft and shiny (Rey thought of her own mangled hair with consternation), an interesting nose that suited his face, full lips and expressive dark eyes. 

It was a good face. She liked looking at it. 

________________________________________________-

Ben closed his eyes, rolled them under his lids. Lando’s conversation was oily enough to... steamroll a family meal into something not  _ pleasant _ , but at least less confrontational. It was still something to be endured. 

Ben stayed away from  _ her _ (his dad said her name was Rey) since  _ that  _ had happened. He wanted time to think. Did she know her strength in the Force? 

And why did the Force connect them that way?

And what was going on with… her hands?

Han explained how he found her on Jakku, but he hadn’t shared anything about her hands -- just that she was an ace mechanic. Seeing her hands and sensing she was strong in the Force (stronger than she knew), Ben wondered if she did her work with the Force and how much she understood about it.

Ben tried not to watch her during dinner, especially after they accidentally made eye contact. There were quiet  _ snick snick  _ noises, almost like white noise, when she moved her fingers to eat. 

The fact she was there still stung. But Ben could also realize that she wasn't the one to hurt him. They hadn’t even told her he existed, based on her reaction.

Ben knew that Snoke would be interested in meeting another Force user. His insides fluttered at the thought, and Ben knew he was right not to tell Snoke about her yet. He was curious about things -- about her. About their connection. 

She needed a teacher. And he could show her the ways of the Force.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Rey and Ben experienced their first Force bond and were both intrigued by the other and their mysterious connection.
> 
> In this chapter, more Rey and Ben interactions, both through the Force and in the flesh. 
> 
> Tags added for blood mention and canon typical violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My eternal and endless thanks to [theselittlethings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings) for being the beta everyone wishes for. 
> 
> And thank you to [queenlittlelion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenlittlelion) for being my cheerleader.
> 
> And thank you for reading! Your time is precious and the fact you spend some it reading this means a lot to me!

She didn’t know it at the time, but the dinner with Lando was a professional turning point for Rey. She assisted him with a ship repair and he told some acquaintances about the quality of her work. It turned out that Lando had  _ many _ acquaintances and Rey began to develop a bit of a reputation on Chandrila. There was soon a demand for her services. Han developed a habit of fondly referring to her as “our Rey,” and boasted about her prowess in the shop and at home.

Ben continued to show up at the apartment. He attempted to approach Rey a couple of times, but (continuing in her resolute denial of Bad Feelings) Rey managed to successfully avoid him. 

Rey didn’t know what to make of Ben Solo. He ostensibly had everything she wanted: a home, family, parents who loved him. But she felt his unease around Han and Leia -- she could sense it radiating from him. Why did he feel that way? Once she had gotten used to them, she felt very safe. But their own son was perpetually discomfited.

Part of her did feel a nagging curiosity about that weird time they connected, but it hadn’t happened again. And she was beginning to wonder if she had been mistaken or imagined the whole thing.

But one night, as Rey slept, it happened again. She was dreaming of rain, something that she had only become familiar with since leaving Jakku. In her dream, she had hands -- human hands -- and she reached out and felt the drops on her hands. It was so real. 

And then she felt him. 

Again, there but not there. She  _ knew s _ he was asleep, but also knew that Ben was there. She couldn’t tell if he was sleeping too. Just that she could  _ sense _ part of him, like she had last time (it had been real!) -- and knew that he could sense part of her as well. 

“Why is the Force connecting us?” Ben asked. 

“The Force?” Rey echoed.

“You don’t know -- about the Force?” Ben’s voice was incredulous.

Even in her strange dream state, Rey felt a wave of embarrassment over her ignorance. 

“It’s... an energy. It’s in and around all living things…” His voice trailed off, sounding exasperated. “I’m... I’m not explaining it well. But it’s strong with you.”

In an instant, Rey knew that Ben was describing  _ her _ power. Her special ability to put things together, to do her work. It had a name. And she wasn’t the only person that had this ability.

Rey woke up, sitting in bed, sweat pouring off of her. She was breathing hard, her heart thundering in her chest. 

The Force.

_ The Force. _

_____________________________________

  
  


So. It was real. It happened again. And now Rey had a name for it. And she wasn’t the only person who could use it, who had it. So many questions that floated in her mind unanswered, even partially unacknowledged, now settled into place. 

She still didn’t know her place in all this, but something that had always been inside her was now awake. She was a little afraid. A lot curious. She left her room and wandered down the hall, not even sure where or why she was going.

She found Ben Solo sitting at the kitchen table, once again eating a bowl of cereal. His large shoulders hunched over the table. She could tell he sensed her, though he said nothing.

She sat down across from him. She’d left her room so fast, her thoughts still jumbled. She found she couldn’t figure out what she really felt, let alone how to articulate it.

Ben looked at her, a somber expression on his face. 

Silence.

“I didn’t know. I’ve never met anyone like me before,” Rey finally whispered.

“I don’t know why the Force is connecting us in this way,” Ben answered.

Rey kept her hands on her lap, fidgeting them every so often. 

“Have you had this happen before?” Rey wondered aloud, keeping her eyes averted.

Ben was quiet for a moment before answering. “I have sensed others in the Force before, but this is... something else. I haven’t experienced it with anyone else. Just you.”

Rey found this reassuring. The fact that some of this was new to Ben as well made this less scary. Slightly. Because knowing that she didn’t  _ know _ the man sitting across from her -- but they had been inside each other’s minds -- was terrifying. He had seen glimpses of her that she hadn’t dared to peek at herself. 

Had she seen any part of him that he didn’t show anyone else?

She remembered the sense of loneliness that emanated from him when their minds touched. How strange that they were united by both feeling so alone?

“-- You’re untrained.”

Ben interrupted her thoughts. “Untrained, but stronger than you know. I... I can show you the ways of the Force.” 

___________________________

Ben couldn’t quite believe it. Rey was so strong in the Force, and she came from no one and nowhere. What would it be like to access such power without the fetters of family name and legacy? He felt a stab of envy at the thought.

He knew, rationally, that Rey’s life had been harder than anything he could really fathom. The physical deprivations she endured were extreme, even by Luke’s austere standards. He felt her utter isolation when they connected through the Force. He understood it, despite the fact she grew up with no one and he’d grown up with a family. Ben always felt alone, even when around a group of people. The flare of connection he felt when their minds touched -- it was like seeing his reflection in disturbed water settling into a clear image. 

Thrilling. But terrifying. 

\-- Terrifying to find someone so different from himself, yet so alike in their innermost selves. Ben sensed that she grasped at the threads of understanding and had seen inside his mind too. He felt vulnerable in a way that was all-too familiar. Images of Luke and Snoke flashed through his mind and a defensive anger surged around him, protecting the parts that were the most scarred and raw. The parts that Rey, a stranger and a scavenger, had seen.

________________________________

Rey bit her lip and met Ben’s eyes. She thought of the unease and sadness around Ben and his parents. 

“Why... Why do you feel so angry at your parents?” To her horror, her eyes welled up with tears and her voice wavered with emotion. Ben’s face tensed slightly, as though he was trying hard to appear passive.

“I don’t understand,” Rey choked out. “You have parents that love you, they give a damn about you.” Her tears spilled over and tracked down her face. 

“What do you know about it?” Ben’s voice was hoarse with emotion of his own. “Your parents threw you away like garbage.”

A shudder of horror ran through her frame and Rey squeezed her eyes shut. Ben so casually stated her deepest shame, and she felt a wave of nausea. Had he felt it too?

Maybe she was better off alone if this is what connecting with another person felt like. Her tears fell and she couldn’t wipe them away.

“They didn’t!” she muttered, both to answer him and to reassure herself. A sense of desperation and panic rose inside her -- suffocating her, pulling her under. She abruptly stood to get away -- from his scrutiny, these feelings, everything --

Her chair clattered to the floor and she whirled around to flee. Ben reached out quickly and grabbed her wrist, careful to avoid her bladed fingers. Before he had time to apologize, to say more, to do  _ anything,  _ Rey twisted her wrist free. The strength of Ben’s hold and the force of her motion made her hand rebound back towards Ben. 

For all his quick reflexes, Ben didn’t move or duck as one of Rey’s bladed fingers caught just above his right eyebrow and tore open the flesh, splitting his skin open as she her hand fell away. 

Blood obscured his face and Rey looked at the blood on her hands, eyes wide in shock. Taking in Ben’s face as he moved his hands to cover it, Rey turned on her heels and sprinted to her room -- tears falling in the same places Ben now wept blood.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Ben and Rey explored the Force and Rey's scissorhands cut Ben's face.
> 
> In this chapter, Rey and Ben try to spend some time away from each other, but the Force has other ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [theselittlethings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings) for the beta read and making this story so much better. 
> 
> Thank you to [hellyjellybean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellyjellybean/pseuds/Hellyjellybean) for this amazing moodboard!

After she injured Ben, Rey didn’t see him or feel his presence for days. She so carefully avoided the possibility of seeing him. Rey defended herself plenty of times on Jakku, and hadn’t wasted her emotional energy on feeling guilty for surviving afterwards. 

Han and Leia didn’t say anything to her about it, and she realized after all her cautious evasion that Ben had left. (To go where? With who? Why?) And he was gone for some time. His absence felt even more significant given the fact that Han and Leia didn’t mention it. 

Rey felt a strange disquiet, because part of her felt like she wasn’t in a position to know or judge Han and Leia. They’d taken her in, been so kind to her. And it wasn’t like she had a family of her own to compare. But Ben was their  _ son _ . And wasn’t it strange that his face was split open and he wasn’t being cared for -- or even mentioned by -- his parents? 

Rey kept these concerns to herself, thinking of them as she worked alongside Han and Chewie. She sensed that Han felt a great deal more than he ever said or willingly let on, and Chewie even more so. Leia remained busy with work and Rey sensed even less from her. Rey realized that Leia masked her feelings constantly, revealing them rarely and with only a select few. 

Rey’s feelings about  _ family _ , which she cherished and secreted away in a deep part of herself, all involved permanence and... affection. A sense of belonging in a way that you didn’t have with anyone else. The security in knowing that someone loved you and would take care of you when you needed it. And you would do the same for them, because that’s what families do. 

Family would notice you were gone. They’d want you to come back.

______________________________________________

After Rey sliced his face open, Ben stopped the bleeding and cleaned up before he stumbled out of his parents’ home and made his way to Snoke. He didn’t know why he had gone through the trouble of hiding this interaction, other than not wanting them to know... anything, really. Ben learned long ago that if he kept things from them, then it hurt less when they didn’t know or care about what went on in his life. It was self-protection.

Ben showed up with a ruined face and Snoke required an explanation. Ben’s cheek ached, the cut stinging and sore whenever he moved his face or neck. He told Snoke about Rey, this strange scavenger girl living in his home that was so powerful in the Force, even though she knew nothing of her own strength. Snoke pondered Ben’s confession. 

“She resisted you?” he finally inquired.

Ben lowered his head, the act of submission gnawing at his inside. 

“If she is as powerful as you say, bring her to me.” Snoke waved his hands in dismissal.

Ben had his wound bandaged. The thin black strips bisected his face from above his brow to his collarbone. It would scar. An eternal reminder of her. 

Ben thought about Snoke’s demand he bring Rey to him with disappointment. Ben had wanted some time with Rey to get to know her (and her skills) better. Rey was unlike anyone he had met, and that wasn’t accounting for her scissorhands. 

He felt curiously drawn to her, as though they were two sides of the same coin. Distinct yet joined. It had to be the Force, but it wasn’t  _ just  _ the Force. Ben knew she could do great things -- her very survival showed that. She wasn’t shackled with expectations or legacy. She had a freedom he lacked, even without all the obstacles she had to overcome.

What could they could accomplish, what could they be together? He’d seen inside her mind and recognized the cries of loneliness that echoed through his own. 

He felt like they could be  _ that  _ person for the other. He felt that way before he opened his mouth and she split his face open. He still felt that way now. He pictured the glimpse he got of her face before his blood hid her from view and she ran away. 

He knew she fought against others before, but this had disturbed her. She regretted marking him. 

He needed time to heal before he tried to contact her again. 

______________________________________________________

The Force had other ideas.

Rey continued to immerse herself in work. In her solitary hours she began to explore the Force inside her. Rey knew that it had always been there, but now it was awake. Rey tried to put aside her guilt and worry about Ben and focus on what she felt, what she saw. What the Force  _ was.  _

So Rey was surprised when she was cleaning up before going home from work and she sensed Ben’s presence. Whipping around and ascertaining he wasn’t in the shop, she found him standing in front of her. He had appeared where no one had been, where no one  _ was.  _

He was shirtless.

And glistening.

Her eyes took in his very large chest, broad shoulders, and thick arms. He was bigger outside his shirt than in it. Her face flushed when she realized she was staring -- and he was watching her watch him.

“I’d rather not do this right now,” she finally said, averting her eyes.

Ben sighed. “Yeah, me too.”

She chanced a look at his face, noting the line of red puckered skin. Her eyes followed it down to his chest. She swallowed, feeling acute discomfort. Her face flushed redder.

“Do you, do you have a cowl or something you could put on?” she asked, lowering her eyes once more.

Ben didn’t answer, but somehow stepped closer, even though he wasn’t really there.

Rey strove to get her body under control, but she was hyper-aware of the heat creeping up her neck, how fast her heart beat in her chest, her panting breaths. She was also very aware that Ben’s face was scarred now, permanently. Because of  _ her. _

Emboldened by her body’s flustered reactions, her guilt, and Ben’s silence, Rey lifted her eyes and once again examined the wound on his face. Rey had tiny marks all over her skin that she inflicted on herself, but nothing like what would be instead of Ben’s face for the rest of his life. The raised red skin would fade and smooth in time, but would always be a part of him. 

_ She  _ would always be a part of him.

“-- You look for your parents everywhere, don’t you?” 

Ben interrupted her thoughts. His speech sounded pressured, like he had tried to suppress it and it burst forth anyway. He kept going, before she could respond, 

“You can’t stop needing them. It’s your greatest weakness. You think Han Solo is the father you never had? He would have disappointed you.”

Rey’s guilt evaporated in the heat of anger. “Get out of my head!” she snapped. 

Ben said nothing. Rey felt the weight of his stare. The heat of it. His dark eyes peered into hers and Rey felt her anger dissolve and fizz within her. It fomented into a mixture of guilt, shame, exhaustion. And the realization that even though she was no longer on Jakku, she was still alone... 

Even though she was living with Han and Leia and she worked around people, even though she was connecting across space with Ben Solo: she was Alone. Alone and Lonely.

__________________________________________________________________

The connection ended. 

Ben kept staring into the space where just moments ago, Rey had been standing in front of him. The expressions on her face played in his mind. Ben found that later that night as he laid down to sleep, he could still see her face when he closed his eyes. He dreamed of Snoke bidding him to bring him Rey, but then somehow she was the one taking his hand and leading him away from Snoke.

It wasn’t until Ben awoke and pondered his dream that he realized that in the dream, Rey had hands. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his dream, Ben seeks Rey out and ends up helping her with something deeply personal. Fluff ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [theselittlethings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings) for the beta read and making this story so much better. 
> 
> Thank you to [hellyjellybean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellyjellybean/pseuds/Hellyjellybean) for this amazing moodboard!

After Ben’s dream, Rey filled his mind even more than before. Whatever they had, whatever it was, he knew he needed to find out more -- and they needed to explore it together.

He returned home, determined to find her out and at least  _ talk _ about... whatever it was they had. Ben didn’t try seeking her out directly in the Force. He felt like Rey might perceive it as a threat or an ill omen, and not welcome the contact. He fell back on old coping mechanisms: shutting someone out before they could do the same to him.

So Ben didn’t see Rey for some time, not until he heard the sounds of muffled gasps and sobs coming from her room. He hovered outside her door, shuffling his feet and talking himself both in and out of knocking. Rey’s feelings of frustration and sadness radiated painfully to him. Shrugging his shoulders, Ben knocked on the door and opened it at the same time. 

“Rey?” he asked, looking around and seeing her hunched over the sink in the refresher. 

Her shoulders were shaking, her head bowed. He approached her quietly. 

“Rey?” he asked again, louder despite being closer. He wanted to capture her attention. 

Rey started and turned quickly. Her hair, always wild and... unusual, was wet. As was her tear-streaked face. 

Her chest rose and fell so quickly, and her eyes darted around. She acted like a cornered animal.

Ben lowered his voice. “Rey, what’s wrong?”

___________________________________________________________

What was wrong? Where to begin? 

Rey wasn’t sure. She was alone. All the time. She never fit in anywhere. She had  _ the Force… _ and that was huge and scary and somehow -- despite Ben telling her it connected to all living things -- it was even more isolating. She mutilated Ben's face. And she would feel bad about that as long as he bore her scar. 

All she tried to do was wash her hair, so that it would be less wild and more like… well, not like Leia’s, but at least more manageable. And with her hands she couldn’t manage it, despite attempts to focus and use her power -- to use the Force -- she only succeeded in dousing herself with water and discovering  _ another _ aspect of normal life she was inept at. Rey felt her lip tremble and tried to take a deep breath before tears clogged her throat. 

Her voice shuddered, “I- I was -- trying to, to wash.” 

Rey gestured wildly at her head. She glanced up at Ben quickly, almost afraid of what his face would tell her. She realized after she lowered her eyes that he hadn’t been laughing, or mocking her. His eyes actually looked soft, like he felt compassion for her. She felt his understanding, but not his pity. She couldn’t have withstood his pity.

“Rey…” Ben started softly. Rey heard him inhale before he continued, “Rey, I’ll help you.”

Their eyes met for a few moments and Rey felt her insides warm. She took a step closer. Still looking into his gaze, she nodded her head. A small smile was on his lips, and he scanned her face. Rey felt her stomach drop. It was like his eyes could swallow her up. He abruptly left to begin setting up, running to another room to grab a stool.

By reclining on the stool and laying her head on a rolled-up towel, Rey could lean back to hang her head over the sink without too much discomfort. Ben hovered above her. He turned on the tap and Rey heard the water run.

She put her hands in her lap, folding the blades over each other. She took a deep breath and released it. She closed her eyes, opening them when she felt Ben’s hands on her scalp.

The sensation was so strange, so novel. His hands were enormous. He cupped the water to wet her hair thoroughly, his fingers spanning her entire skull. Rey relaxed into his touch and some tension left her body. As his hands cradled her head, Rey felt something deep inside her uncoil. He massaged in shampoo, and his touch was so gentle. 

He was such a large man, and Rey thought of the destruction he could wreak. Yet here he was, washing her hair in the refresher sink. 

Rey stole glances of his face while he washed her hair. He was quiet and wore an expression of concentration. The time went too fast and too slow. He rinsed her hair, thick fingers supporting her head again before he wrapped it in a towel. Rey straightened. 

“-- Come sit over there,” Ben interrupted, pointing to her bed. 

She sat on the edge of the bed, her legs dangling over. Ben brought over a comb and sat behind her. Rey felt the mattress shift under his weight as he settled, his long legs bracketing either side of hers. Ben slowly pulled the towel from her head. 

“I’m going to comb your hair now.” Hisvoice rumbled and Rey felt it in her knees. “It might take awhile, okay?”

Rey nodded slightly. He must have been watching her, took a small portion of her hair and began gently pulling apart the snarls with his hands. Then he ran the comb through it, section by section. 

Rey lost track of time, closing her eyes. Her body relaxed imperceptibly, slowly pulled closer to Ben’s both through his ministrations and something more, a pull -- an attraction. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck sometimes, when he moved closer to get to the wisps of hair there. It made a prickly shiver tingle up her scalp and down her spine. 

They were quiet as he worked. Rey focused solely on the sensations of being touched. It was overwhelming -- welcoming -- but a lot to take in and process. Her blood rushed through her veins. It felt wild and untamed. Dangerous, but thrilling. She felt cared for. As if she  _ mattered _ . What would it be like to have this feeling, and then have it taken away? Could she bear it? Would it be better, safer, to never experience this at all?

“There,” Ben said, bringing Rey back to herself. “All done. How about I braid it now?” 

Rey turned to look at him in surprise. “You know how?” 

Ben smiled. “You know my mom is from Alderaan, yes?” 

Rey nodded. 

“It’s a tradition she instilled in me as a young child. I’m quite good at it, actually.”

Rey bit her lip, not wanting to impose. Ben must have read her expression, because he worked his lips -- which Rey knew he did when he was thinking.

“Turn around,” he instructed. And Rey obeyed.

___________________________________________________________________

It was astonishing how different Rey looked with her hair clean and kempt. Ben flexed his fingers before he started braiding. Using the comb to divide her hair into sections, Ben decided to make it into three wraps. It would be out of Rey’s way while she worked and would allow her face to be seen. By... him. And others.

Before helping Rey with her hair, he couldn’t remember the last time he touched another person. He couldn’t remember the last time he embraced either of his parents, or Chewie. Luke had always been austere and withdrawn, treating Ben as a pupil rather than a nephew. And Snoke didn’t express affection.

He felt her body loosen and relax as he washed and combed her hair. Making her feel good made  _ him _ feel good. And it had been so long since Ben felt he was any good to anyone. He found himself wanting to see her smile, and to be the reason she was smiling. 

…He found himself slowing down his work just to have the excuse to stay near her. But when it was done, he encouraged Rey to examine herself in the mirror.

She got up off the bed and bounded to look at her reflection, turning her head this way and that to see the three braided buns from all angles. Ben watched her face to see her reaction. When she lit up with a smile, Ben smiled back, their eyes meeting in the glass.

“Thank you, Ben,” Rey whispered, her eyes never leaving his. “I’d never have managed alone, and I love it.”

Slowly, almost as if they had a mind of their own, Ben rested his hands on Rey’s shoulders. He squeezed them lightly. 

“You’re not alone,” he answered. 

And neither was he.

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Ben helped Rey wash, comb and braid her hair. The intimacy of their interactions bring them closer together.
> 
> In this chapter, everything goes to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [theselittlethings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings) for the beta read and making this story so much better. She encourages me constantly and I've learned so much from her. 
> 
> Thank you to [hellyjellybean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellyjellybean/pseuds/Hellyjellybean) for this amazing moodboard!
> 
> Also, tags added this chapter for Minor Character Death and Mild Gore.

After Ben washed and braided her hair, their relationship changed. It felt to Rey as though their physical interactions were closer to the intimacy of their metaphysical ones. There was something about giving and receiving help that softened the rough edges. There was a trust there now, and an understanding. 

It was completely new to her. She never allowed another person to see so much without immediately feeling she needed to fight to assert that she was _fine, thank you_ \-- and that she needed no one. Needing people meant they could hurt you with their absence. It meant weakness and vulnerability and risk. But Rey needed Ben to take care of her that night. And Ben needed someone to take care of. 

Before that night, their lives felt connected, like they each held the end of a piece of string. But that night the string tied itself around each of their hearts, intertwining their fates. 

A camaraderie developed. Ben was around for family meals more frequently, something that Leia commented on and Ben didn’t roll his eyes at. Rey felt less defensive in his presence and liked having him around. They spent time together, sometimes talking, but often in silence. The Force filled in gaps that would have been awkward with another. 

It was nice, not being alone. A part of Rey -- the part that tallied night after night of abandonment on her AT-AT wall; the part whose heart jumped into her throat at every sound outside her door, convinced it was her parents returning -- _that_ part of Rey whispered doubts and fears into her heart. It worked to convince her that this wasn’t real and would be taken away. Better to not care, then to want something and lose it. Surely that wouldn’t hurt as much.

The instinct to guard her heart was always there. And while Rey couldn’t hear the nagging voice when Ben smiled at her or braided her hair, she could hear it when she was alone with only her thoughts for company.

When the loneliness washed over her, she closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of Ben’s hands on her shoulders, reassuring her she wasn’t alone. The comforting weight of his presence, the heat of his body next to hers, his faint smell that reminded of her green things and life. Life she hadn’t known was possible before meeting Han. And Ben.

So when Rey didn’t see Ben at dinner one evening, she feigned a nonchalance she didn’t feel. Neither Han or Leia commented on his absence. Rey spent the meal and the rest of the night internally debating how she felt about this development. 

Ben was a grown man who didn’t need to report his whereabouts to her. _But he had been around so consistently. It seemed like he wanted to be around her._

What if she never saw him again? _Maybe he’d be back soon. Just because he was gone didn’t mean that he was never coming back. Some people came back, didn’t they?_

Everyone leaves eventually. _But they were connected in the Force. This was something else._

_____________________________________________________________________________

Ben didn’t appear again for three days. Even the bond was silent. Rey’s concern continued to grow.

It made what happened next so much worse.

If it had happened before, Rey would have thought it was a nightmare. But Rey knew that this was more than that.

She _felt_ Ben’s pain. His fear. It wracked through his body, coursed through him, and also through her, making her heart raced in her chest.. A shadow hovered above him, and Rey knew that this shadow caused his pain. Ben was shaking and Rey knew she felt just an echo of what Ben experienced. She could see Ben’s hand outstretched, and he was reaching out to _her._

“Please,” she heard him mutter hoarsely. “ _Please_ .” 

Mere seconds elapsed and Rey returned to herself, sweating and out of breath. Immediately springing to action, she sprinted away from Han and Leia’s. She had to go to Ben. He needed her. Rey focused on her sense of him. It oriented her. Their string of connection remained taut, and Rey felt his presence getting stronger as she traveled the city to find him.

She thought only of Ben. _I’ll help you. Ben, I can feel it. I’ll come to you. It will turn out ok. Ben, Ben, Ben_ \--

When she thought back on it, it was strange how easy it was to find him. To get to where he was. To realize that the shadow she saw above Ben during their Force bond was Snoke.

______________________________________________________________

Not that she knew who Snoke was, she found that out later. But she knew that a sinister and evil presence had hurt Ben. And that was all she needed to know. 

He sat in a high-backed chair in a red-walled room. His face was in shadow, but his gold slippers reflected the room’s light. The incongruity struck Rey as she saw Ben looking haggard, head bowed in a smaller chair across from Snoke. Ben didn’t raise his eyes to look at her, though he felt her presence. She sensed his fear, his anger.

Snoke leaned forward, his clawed fingers grasping the arms of his ornate seat. His face was grotesque: a chunk of his jaw was simply not there, a dent in his head where it was cleaved by _something,_ and ropes of twisted scarred flesh on his face and neck. But the oily black darkness that pervaded from him was more horrific. _Evil_.

Snoke knew who she was. “Young Rey,” he croaked. “Welcome.”

Revulsion rolled through her, and she looked at Ben again -- waited for him to do something, to say something, _to look at her_ \-- 

But his eyes remained down.

“Come closer,” Snoke beckoned. 

When she didn’t respond, Rey felt the Force tug her forward. The sensation was uncanny, being suspended above the ground and pulled closer to him -- all against her will. Fear churned inside her. She couldn’t fight it, couldn’t resist. And Ben wasn’t helping her. 

Snoke halted her movement. She hovered close enough for him to reach out and place his hand on the side of her face, cupped over her ear. Rey fought to pull away, but he held her in place. 

His touch was a violation. But it was nothing compared to when he invaded her mind. 

Ben being in her mind had been strange, but it had been a revelation. A caress. But this was an intrusion -- brutally seizing and grabbing and destroying. 

The pain radiated from her pores and she screamed. She drowned in the pain. It was all-consuming. She felt herself slipping under. On the edge of her consciousness, she felt a warmth behind her. _Ben._

Something grabbed her arm and jabbed it forward. Rey’s senses gradually cleared as the invasion stopped. She realized that Ben had taken her arm.

And used her bladed hand to skewer Snoke. 

She registered the shock on Snoke'sdeformed face as life drained from his eyes. When he expired, she fell to the ground. Her metal fingers dragged through his flesh as she was released from his power. The wound was jagged and gaping. Ben still held onto her arm, had fallen with her. Her bladed fingers were stained with blood and bits of gore.

She felt Ben trembling. And she felt numb, like her brain moved very fast and very slow at the same time. Rey tore her eyes from the vast hole in Snoke's gut and looked over at Ben. His chest heaved. His eyes were black and the lids red-rimmed. 

But he looked at her and didn’t look away.

______________________________________________________________________

  
  


Rey didn’t know how long they laid there. Eventually their breathing slowed and Ben stopped trembling, but he didn’t let go. 

“Rey,” Ben whispered. “I’m so sorry. He, he... Snoke was so angry at me, that I hadn’t brought you to him. I didn’t mean to reach out to you, but… but it hurt so much it happened anyway.”

Rey scooted over to him. She didn’t know what to say. She came here to help him and he ended up saving _her_. And he was apologizing. She couldn’t bear it.

“Rey,” he went on. “I shouldn’t have used you. I just didn’t know what else to do. It was like I felt someone telling me what to do, guiding me. It was a voice I’d heard before, but different. It knew we could take him down together.” Ben worked his lips together, thinking. “It just happened. But, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

He stopped, tears filling his eyes. He rocked back and forth -- and Rey longed to reach out and touch him, to comfort and reassure him. She bit her lip, hating how her hands could kill a man but couldn’t show her love for another.

Ben inhaled deeply a couple of times before continuing. “I’ve heard his voice -- Snoke’s -- in my head, as long as I can remember. Saying awful things. Twisting everything so it hurt. He made me believe he was all I had, and then he just hurt me again and again. But it’s quiet now. It’s quiet and I don’t know what to do I --” 

He dissolved into sobs. Rey sat there helplessly. 

Quietly, she heard Ben whisper, “Could you hold me?”

It took her a moment to process what he meant. She wiggled her metal fingers and shrugged. Tears filled her eyes. 

“I can’t,” she answered.

Ben wiped his tears with the back of his hand. He looked at her for what felt like a long time, then moved to lay his head in her lap. His knees curled up protectively. He grabbed her arm and placed it over his chest. They didn’t move or speak for some time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, Rey went to help Ben and together (with maybe some help from the Force?) they killed Snoke. Ben shared some of his past abuse he suffered at the hands of Snoke and he and Rey comforted each other.
> 
> In this chapter--the FINAL chapter (!!) we find out what else the Force has in store for Rey and Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [theselittlethings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings) for the beta read and making this story so much better. She was also endlessly patient and encouraging and I am forever grateful. 
> 
> Thank you to [hellyjellybean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellyjellybean/pseuds/Hellyjellybean) for this amazing moodboard!
> 
> Tags added for Naboo, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, First Kiss, and Happy Ending.

When they heard the sound of an incoming holocall to Snoke, it came back to them what they had done. There was a man dead and they were responsible. It didn’t matter that he deserved it. There would be consequences. 

“We need to leave,” Ben said, tightening his hold on Rey’s arm before sitting up. “We need to go now.” 

Rey followed Ben, straightening her back. She stretched her stiff muscles. Her fingers were sticky with blood. It was before dawn, but the ambient light of the city was bright enough that Rey could see Ben’s outline, and she followed him back to an area she was familiar with -- Han’s shop. Without hesitating, Ben entered the code for the security systems and headed to the Falcon. 

Ben sat in the pilot’s seat with the air of someone putting on a pair of boots worn down to fit perfectly. Ben opened the garage and began the take-off sequence. Rey noticed him reach up and touch a pair of golden dice that hung from the top of the viewing screen. They swung back and forth as the engines came to life, and Ben piloted the Falcon away from Chandrila.

__________________________________________________________________________

Ben set the nav coordinates, more on auto-pilot than the Falcon was. He was so  _ tired.  _ He got up wordlessly, once again touching his father’s dice. “For luck, son!” he remembered his dad telling him when he was little and would tag along on trips. Han would grab him under his armpits and hoist him up so Ben could touch the dice. Then set him down and ruffle his hair affectionately. 

Ben ran his own hands through his hair. He glanced at Rey who nodded off in the copilot’s chair. Rey, who came for him when he hadn’t even meant to call her. But the Force knew who he needed when Snoke was torturing him. 

Who he had needed his whole life. 

He gently touched her shoulder to wake her. “Rey,” he murmured. “Get some sleep.” 

He was ready to show her where sleeping quarters were, but realized when she opened her eyes and headed off on her own that she had been on the Falcon before. He watched her disappear down the corridor and settled himself back in the pilot’s seat, touching the dice on his way down.

Ben recorded and sent a holo before his eyes closed in sleep. He got an answer before Rey arose.

__________________________________________________________________________

Rey woke up when she felt the Falcon initiate landing procedure. Yawning, she headed to the cockpit to see Ben grounding the Falcon and the most beautiful view she’d ever seen. Rolling green hills, the grass undulating in the wind. Waterfalls and lakes were the backdrop to a palatial house with cylindrical columns and a balcony that overlooked the lake. Rey looked at Ben, a question in her eyes.

He looked over at her. “My grandmother’s old lakehouse,” he answered. “We can stay here for a bit. Let things... sort themselves out. If that’s ok.”

Rey bit her lip. “Do Han and Leia know what happened? Do they know where we are?”

Ben nodded. “They know we have the Falcon too.” He grinned, and color rose in his cheeks. “Dad… was Dad about it.”

Rey wasn’t sure what that meant. But it was good to see Ben smile, after everything that happened in the last day. It weighed on her physically and emotionally. Even after sleeping on the journey, there was a grittiness in her eyes every time she blinked and her body was dirty and in pain.

They headed down to the lake house together, walking side by side.

_________________________________________________________________

The house was empty, but kept up. Rey assumed there must have been a caretaker of some sort. She thought of her abandoned AT-AT on Jakku and wondered briefly whether sand or another squatter had taken over her space. 

They cleaned up and Ben found some food for them to eat. Apparently the house was kept stocked with essentials. Rey noted absently that no cereal was to be found. Thankfully there was food Rey could eat on her own. Then Ben built a fire and spread a blanket on the floor. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m too tired to manage anything else, is this okay?” he asked.

Rey nodded, her eyes already heavy. She laid on her side, faced the fire, and felt Ben lay down behind her -- close enough to sense the heat radiate from his body. She closed her eyes and slept.

______________________________________________________________________

  
  


Her dream was odd. Flashes of memory, some of which were hers and some she didn’t recognize. 

A desert planet that could have been Jakku for all its bleak desolation. A woman dressed in brown and gray wrapping her arms around herself as a blond-haired boy walked away from her. The image of Ben bleeding after she cut his face. Pain coursing through hands she didn’t have, and that were no longer attached to their body. A river where lava flowed instead of water, and skin withering away from flesh as it burned and melted away. 

“Finish what was started Rey,” echoed in her ears until she woke.

_______________________________________________________________________

Ben’s dream was strange. Parts of it he recognized because they were scenes from his own life. Images of hugs from Chewie, holos Ben tried to grab as a child, wanting Mom and Dad to come back. But also scenes that felt familiar, even though they weren’t his memories or Rey’s. 

A woman crying and sobbing, “You’re breaking my heart” as a man paced in front of her like a caged animal. Pain, shame, and guilt. A body ravaged and a soul empty. 

Ben woke with a start and immediately identified the images -- his grandfather’s memories. He recognized the voice, the presence that was with him when he and Rey defeated Snoke.

_________________________________________________________________________

Rey opened her eyes to find Ben’s face hovering near hers. His gaze was intent. The voice from her dream still echoed in her ears. Rey sat up and faced Ben. 

He inhaled deeply. “I just had a dream. Filled with memories that weren’t mine.”

Rey gasped and Ben instantly knew she had experienced something similar. Ben closed his eyes. Rey saw his chest rise and fall, his expression a blank mask. 

He opened his eyes and looked over her head. Rey noticed his face cast in a blue glow.

“Hi grandfather,” Ben said, his mouth curving into a slow smile. 

___________________________________________________________________________

Rey scrambled to turn around and see who Ben was talking to and smiling at. She sat next to Ben, their knees touching. 

A  _ something  _ was there. It looked like a man, but he was blue and semi-transparent. He had longer hair that covered his ears, sort of like Ben’s. And a scar bisected his eyebrow, just like Ben. And Ben looked at him with an expression that showed wonder and familiarity.

“I’m here to help you,” Ben’s grandfather said. “The two of you together have righted a wrong of the past. I am here to help you redeem the future.” 

He was talking primarily to Ben, who nodded knowingly. Ben placed a hand on her arm. 

“Rey?” he asked. “The Force has something for you -- for us -- and he’s here to help. Are you open to it? It’s ok if you’re not. But I feel it. Do you?”

Rey  _ did  _ feel it. A sense of peace and purpose overcame her. She knew instinctively that they were on the brink of something momentous, but the usual anxiety was not there. She could sense Ben and trusted him -- and the Force. 

She nodded. Ben’s grandfather smiled at her. Ben grabbed her other arm. He closed his eyes, and Rey did too.

Rey barely registered what happened next. 

A warmth flooded her body -- starting at her spine, traveling up her scalp, and down through her arms and legs. It was a warmth of healing and wholeness, and Rey sensed the heat move down her arms, even past her scissorhands. 

She’d never  _ felt  _ anything with her bladed fingers, but she felt something now. She barely heard the clunking noise as something metallic fell to the floor. A second thud echoed the first. 

Rey’s fingers felt  _ alive.  _

The warmth ebbed from her body and Rey opened her eyes. Ben’s grandfather was gone. The blue glow was nowhere to be seen. Ben still held her arms. Rey looked down to where they touched.

She had hands. 

__________________________________________________________________________

_ She had hands.  _ Rey had hands. 

She was looking at human hands attached to her body. She flexed her fingers and watched in wonder as they moved. She could feel the muscles and tendons and bones all working together, a miraculous magic.

Tears fell down her face. Rey raised her shaking hands to wipe them away. The moisture on her fingers was another new sensation she revelled in, rubbing her fingers together. 

She looked up at Ben, who stared at her in awe and adoration. His eyes told her everything she ever needed to know. 

“Ben,” she sobbed. “Thank you.”

She reached for him without knowing what she was doing. Her hands came up to cradle his face. She noted the texture of his stubble and the heat of his skin. He never looked away from her, though his eyes were full of tears as well. She used her thumbs to wipe them away as they went down his cheeks, and he brought his hands up to cover hers. 

His hands dwarfed hers. She could feel their weight and the pressure, the calloused hardness of his hands. She could sense his skin, could feel his face move as he smiled at her. 

She didn’t want to stop touching his face, and yet she wanted to touch every part of him: his ears, his hair, his lips, his chest. She smiled through her tears and slowly reached a finger out to trace the path of the scar marring his face.

Ben moved closer and Rey sat on his lap. Her knees bracketed his hips and his arms moved around her waist, holding her near. Rey’s hand lingered at Ben’s neck, at the bottom of the wound. 

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I’m sorry I marked you.” 

Ben’s smile widened and he looked down at her lips. “I want to be touched by you in any way I can,” he said. 

Rey’s hands migrated to Ben’s ears, rubbed the ear lobes between her thumbs and fingers before putting them into his silky soft hair. He closed his eyes and sighed contentedly.

Rey moved in and kissed him. 

She’d never done it before, but she loved this man -- and she felt sure he loved her too. She was where she belonged now, something she’d never known. And she wanted to express her love through a kiss. 

Their lips touched and the feelings that hit her were overwhelmingly, wonderfully  _ good.  _

He kissed her back, his lips responding to hers as they found a rhythm together. And they pulled back just to smile at each other again before they embraced once more. 

Her hands never let him go.

____________________________________________________________________________

Later, after they received the holo from Han letting them know they were all clear to return, Ben waited for Rey as she took one last look at Naboo. His arms wrapped around her, held her back to his chest. He kissed her cheek and neck, stopping only to look at her face glow in the sunset. When Rey moved to turn towards the ship, he let go and held out his hand to her. 

“Will you come home with me, Rey?” 

He realized with a jolt this was the image from his dream.

Rey placed her hand in his and smiled up at him. “Home is where you are, Ben. And I’m happy to be home.” 

They walked into the Falcon hand in hand, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story! I appreciate the gift of your time. To those who left comments and kudos, thank you for the kind words and encouragement.
> 
> I know that Edward Scissorhands has a bittersweet, rather than a happy ending. I decided I wanted my AU to have a happy ending because of three main reasons: 1)I like happy endings 2)TROS happened 3)My 11 year-old started reading this story and I wanted to give her the happy ending she asked for. 
> 
> I also leaned into the fairy tale aspects of both Edward Scissorhands and Star Wars when it came to this story. Hopefully you've been able to suspend your disbelief and go with it.
> 
> This is the first multi-chapter fic I've written and it's also the longest thing I've written. I feel proud of myself and I appreciate everyone who has been on this journey with me.

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate you reading! Thank you!


End file.
